VPN speeds drop to zero

May’s update didn’t just slow down VPN connections — it obliterated them. L2TP/IPsec VPN speeds dropped from 16 MB/s to literally zero. Connection times ballooned from seconds to 30 seconds, when they connected at all. SFTP over VPN became completely unusable. Businesses relying on VPN for their entire remote workforce watched productivity evaporate. The Windows Security app also started crashing with “grey and black boxes” instead of its UI, because apparently Microsoft’s own security app couldn’t survive Microsoft’s own update.