Multiple BSOD types, Lenovo AMD BitLocker recovery loops

March’s Patch Tuesday for Windows 11 22H2/23H2 delivered a variety pack of Blue Screens: “Thread Stuck in Device Driver,” “DPC_WATCHDOG_VIOLATION,” and “Memory Management” — pick your favorite. Boot times slowed dramatically. System performance degraded across the board. The taskbar stopped working. Lenovo AMD systems entered BitLocker recovery loops, forcing users to dig up recovery keys just to access their own computers. Microsoft never officially acknowledged the BSODs, leaving users to discover through trial and error that uninstalling the update and pausing future updates was their only recourse.