USB printers print garbage text and network commands

March’s Patch Tuesday turned USB dual-mode printers into random text generators. Instead of printing your documents, they’d spit out pages of garbage characters, raw network commands, and unintelligible data — like your printer was having a conversation with the void. Copilot also silently unpinned and uninstalled itself for some users, which honestly might have been the most user-friendly thing this update did. The printer chaos took two weeks to fix with KB5053657 on March 25th.